Greetings and Salutations, my impeccable friends.

I recently ended up in an “argument”(You know, the sort of one that isn’t really an argument and can only be called such in  tongue-in-cheek fashion?) about Taylor Swift. It start something like this:

“Eva became a fan of Taylor Swift.”

Me: Et tu, Eva? Et tu?

Now, of course, I was merely joking, but it is my nature to take jests farther than they need go, and I reserve particular ire for Taylor Swift as an artist. However, I wasn’t planning to say more, until the following comment came back.

“Eva: ONLY Taylor, Wes. She doesn’t sing about country things – she’s all love songs. ”

“Mary: Yuck.”

This, I had to contend. Taylor Swift writes the sort of “love songs” that make me content to never, ever, EVER fall in love. I honestly have no patience for them. So, I typed up my typically sarcastic reply.

“Me: Yeah, it’s just…if you find one of Taylor Swift’s songs you like, I’d bet good money that another artist has already done the same thing, and ten times better. I haven’t been proven wrong yet on that point, though not for folks lack of trying :P”

And here I was content to let it die. Of course, I was just be a smug, artistic punk. Yes, I was being petty. I don’t apologize for that, it’s fun. But I wasn’t going to escalate it beyond that comment, which has only been heard from my mouth a few thousand times by this point. However, as fate would have it, this little game would continue.

“Eva: You know what? You’re ridiculous. 😛 If you comment one more time, I’m deleting them all.

Mary:Awwwwwwwww shucks Eva. Don’t count this as a comment please. I’m enjoying Wesley’s comments to much

Me: Drat, and I had a lovely little rant worked up about the concept of a “love song”, too. Very well, I can see my satirical genius is not appreciated here. Don’t worry, Mary, this’ll turn into a blog post in a week or two, just as soon as I run out of books and movies to review. ”

And that is where we stand now, ladies and gentlemen.

So, if you caught the post before this one, you would know that I’m re-appropriating this blog space as a review haven for my musings. Books, Movies, Games, whatever catches my fancy. I didn’t intend to actually use the above material for some time, but today, I decided this was too good to pass up. I’m going to run a comprehensive review to prove my previous statement: Taylor Swift can’t write a single song that hasn’t been done better. We’ll start with the one everybody on the planet knows about: You belong with me.

Cute, right? Unrequited love, happy endings, etc.  Totally original, right?

Enter: Shinedown. It’s a song called “If you Only Knew”. Same basic principle, but with alot more meaning. This one speaks volumes on it’s own, not just of pointless teenage drama, but something more. Something lost. Something that may never return again.

Great song, great band. But I digress.  “If You Only Knew” is “You Belong with Me”, but with feeling, and a whole lot less superficiality. No digression about how “she wears short skirts and I wear t-shirts”, none of this silliness that glorifies the inane idea that physical appearance should be a cornerstone of a relationship. You even get the feel-good ending of everyone ending up happily ever after that everyone seems to love about “You Belong With Me” ‘s video. But let’s move on.

How about “Fifteen”, that lovely song about high-school and growing up? Everyone can relate to that, right?

Drivel, compared to what I’ve got for you now:  “100 years”, by Five for Fighting.

Same theme, except it spans all years, starting from Fifteen and ending at 99. A truly beautiful song, and one I will always treasure.

But we’ve still got some ground to cover. Let’s go with a sadder song: “White Horse”, a song about a boyfriend who can’t stay faithful, and getting all emo over it.

There are quite a few songs I can throw out here, but I’ll go with one that really, really proves my point: “Angeleyes” by ABBA.

Not convinced? We’ll go a bit more modern. This one’s called “Last to Know”, by Three Days Grace.

While ABBA proves this is an old theme that just can’t seem to die, Three Days Grace puts meaning to it. It expands upon that theme, and shows a guy(shocker! It turns out girls aren’t the only ones who get hurt in relationships. Who woulda thunk?) who is betrayed by someone close to him, either a close friend(possibly a best friend) or even a brother, who steals his girlfriend, news that isn’t news to the rest of the world. It goes from shock, to sorrow, to acceptance, to an accurate promise, noting that people who cheat on others aren’t known for their faithfulness, and that his betrayer may soon find himself as the betrayed in the near future.

So there you have it. That’s why I don’t like Taylor Swift. In trying to keep with the new pardigram for this blog, I’m awarding her a dismal 3/10 teacups.

Poor Showing, Ms. Swift